Thursday, November 30, 2006

World AIDS day

So what is my day going to look like? I am meeting S. (running out of letters here), who is going to work for me and I for her instead of my going to Xxxx, because I have decided that as nice as the Xxxxese are, for now, I am not ready to creep into their country on the downlow. More than that, I am never going to enter a country that doesn't allow me entrance as a HIV+, so bye bye USA, Russia and United Arab Emirates (as if I would go there), hello Mexico, Thailand, Japan (again), Morocco, Western Europe, Laos, Australia.... I don't need to spend my money and my time in a place that blacklists me and discriminates against me, and I don't need to palm-sweat my way strategies to sneak in there as though I was smuggling cocaine in my stomach when all I have is a fucking virus (no offence virus). I will have to live with this virus through thick and thin, just like the officials that make the rules and put the prices on drugs and stop sex education and prevent this disease from being treated in most parts of the world will have to live with their conscience. Tough, but I can do it - and they can too I guess, else there wouldn't be 3 millon peoplee dying a year from a managable disease with a real cost of treatment that is just around 50 US$ a month. Funny that, the only country in the West where people are dying for lack of treatment is the USA, the same country where the disease started, where the best drugs and newest treatments are avilable to those who can afford them, and where the stricktest prohibitions on HIV+ entry are applied (I could be arrested, not just deported). But this is not a Fuck the States post, because Africa is not dying just because of the states (although, shutting down funds to prevention programs who don't preach abstinence, in line with the fundementalist Republican Right, is responsible for the escalation of the crisis). It is more my feeling about how evil and heartless people are, and how when the Holocaust happened, the excuse was "we didn't know", but now everyone knows (and AIDS is just one aspect of what we know) and nothing is done. We can sit in our Northern European homes eating popcorn and watching AIDS orphans begging on the streets and selling themselves to AIDS infected truck drivers and miners and sliding towards their imminent doom, as well as a million other unimaginable and indescripable horrors, and the world keeps spinning, and deals are transacted, and hands are shaken on the various lawns, and the money piles up untouched in private bank accounts. My social worker T. told me not to watch TV today, and anyway I won't be home, because I am going to a Korean dinner, but I today is a day that I feel like shouting that I have HIV, and that HIV is not the problem, HIV is a symptom of the problem, and maybe that is why they don't want to touch HIV, because then they would have to stop the arms trade and the flesh trade and the corruption and the gold and diamond mining and all the other things that enable Heaven and Hell to exist at once on this Planet, until sooner and later, the greed and the apathy and the hate and the helplessness will expload in a ball of fire, when the sun will burn us and the empty oceans will burst and cover the corporate skyscrapers and drown the rich and the poor alike.

No comments: