Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Sometimes I feel like everyone and everything is chasing me. No one gives me the space that I need.

Compared to people with real problems and real lives (as in job, family etc) my life is a peice of cake. i can do whatever I want pretty much whenever I want, so long as I stick to the general very wide framework.

But it is all I can handle at the moment.

I made a list of my priorities in descending oreder. Here is is:

1) Health
2) Writing
3) P
4) Sport
5) Family (I know they should be nummero uno, but they are far away and the time I devote to them is minimal right now, so that's what I mean)
6) Friends
7) Work

as you can see, cleaning my apartment is nowhere on top of that list.

But if I look at things I do every day and what time flies on, I see that I spend an X # of minutes tweezing hair out of my face for example, and I do that every day.

I spend a lot of time on the internet.

I hardely ever watch TV. Mostly cos it's broken, but also very boring.

I never read, for recreation, although it's one of the things I love to do the most.

Ditto for drawing and art.

I watch a DVD every week or 2.

I shop for stuff almost every day.

I spent between 1/2-1 hour just walking from place to place each day.

I spend a long time checking out internet forums that are not that useful to me, but I guess they fulfill some kind of need.

I don't sleep so little but I always feel like I haven't slept enough.

I worry, worry, worry...

Now that I engage in mindful eating (see to rid myself of my eating disorder, I actaully spend less time eating than I did before.

When P is here, I have sex ;0) for about an hour, on average every 2-3 days.

What does my time get so lost on then? How much time do I actaully spend working?

I started a "captain's log" file of all the things I do for work, I think I should check and write in it the amount of time spent working each day. it certainly isn't 8 hours a day, even if I physicially spend 8 hours at work (much much less recently, esp. in the summer, since the building closes early).

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